"Why can others easily talk about their feelings when chatting with girls, but I can't stop chatting to death? How should I chat with girls?" This is what many boys are thinking about when they are chasing girls. question.
First of all, you must know that chatting is a process of information exchange and emotional communication between both parties. Information exchange is more associated with value, while emotional exchange is more associated with feelings. Therefore, if you want to have a good chat with girls, you should focus more on emotional content instead of blindly outputting simple information.
To put it simply, it is to influence the other party’s emotional ups and downs during the chat. The simplest way to do this is: talk about emotional topics easily + terminate the conversation in a timely manner.
The former is relatively simple, but when to terminate the conversation is relatively more difficult. We will talk about it in two aspects.
1. Peak-End Law
Research findings by psychologist Daniel Kahneman , people's memory of experience is determined by two factors:
The feeling at the peak and the feeling at the end.
To put it simply, if the experience is pleasant at the peak and end of an experience, then the entire experience will be pleasant.
For example, it’s the first time you date a girl you like.
During this process, due to nervousness or other factors, you may have fallen down as soon as we met, or spilled some as soon as you sat down to eat. These are not so important.
As long as you maintain the harmonious atmosphere when the atmosphere of the date reaches its peak, and end the date perfectly, then her feelings about the date will be harmonious.
The same goes for switching the scene to chat. Choose a topic that the opposite sex can easily get emotional about, and keep the peak of the mood and the end of the chat. If you have a good feeling, then this communication is effective.
Over time, feelings for each other will naturally grow.
It is worth mentioning that if the peak and end point appear almost at the same time, the other party will be more impressed.
For example, if you are talking to each other and your emotions are at their peak, and you suddenly interrupt in time, the other person's emotions will stay at this stage, and their impression of you will also remain at this level.
Maybe some friends will say that it should be terminated at the peak every time to double the effect.
Friendly reminder, if this happens once out of ten, she will feel very good, but if it happens seven or eight times out of ten, it will make the other person feel that you are very insecure.
2. Zeigarnik effect
In fact, the timely termination of the peak we mentioned above not only has the peak-end law, but also the Zeigarnik effect.
The so-called Zeigarnik effect is a memory effect, which means that people are more impressed by things that have not yet been processed than by things that have been processed.
Everyone should have this feeling. The things they are currently doing but have not yet completed are the most profound in their memory, and they may not pay too much attention to some things that have been completed.
In fact, this is in line with people’s memory rules. The human brain always remembers some content that needs to be processed and puts it in working memory, just like the memory of a computer. For things that have been completed or will be The brain will intentionally forget the completed content.
For example:
Male: It’s Double 11 soon, and it’s almost time to eat dirt again.
Female: Who says it’s not!
Female: It’s so annoying. How can I become rich and buy things?
Male: Hey, I found a way to save a lot of money.
Female: Tell me quickly!!!
(End)
At this time, ending the chat in time can not only keep her in a high mood, but also make her more relaxed The important thing is that you can use this to start the conversation next time.
